I need to get how I'm feeling off of my chest, but for some reason there's just this mass of words in my brain that I've been needing to sort, and three days later I'm finally able to get them out into blog form.
I'm not necessarily lonely or unhappy, in fact I'm doing just fine lately. I think I just get tinges of loneliness because I have this longing to feel some connection with someone. I think that's why I'm okay with being "alone", I mean it's really not worth anything to me to be talking to some boy who's not interesting in any way, just because they are interested in me. Not to be mean, and not that I'm the particularly picky type but I hate it when people don't know who they are (and always change their interests according to who they're around) and when people do not understand sarcasm. I'm very sarcastic, and it's very dry sarcasm, it's nothing to cry over.
I feel like it's some emotional abyss or crossroads, but I'm not so much worried over it, as I want to understand it.
This is, however, a place to be that isn't really turned up when everyone around me is soo in love. I mean, I'm happy for you and I'm sure it's some great thing... but if I'm not asking, why are you telling me? No offense. I'm sure it's because it's spring time and this twitterpated nonsense will blow over soon.
On that same note, I don't want anyone unhappy. That'd be a. fucked and b. also something that wouldn't help. It'd be superfantastic if people I give any care about were happy all the time.
Just because I'm a Jaded Fuck (thank you Lewis Black) doesn't mean I hate everything just... most things.
[kidding]
A few pluses though: I'm finally confident, a million times more than I used to be. I'm not into myself or anything, I'm just FINALLY confident. It's nice :] Also, working on my summer goal to feel okay in a two piece swim suit... fingers crossed.
........
I'll post again really soon
but the blog's about to go down for maintainence.
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