I put in a time-line today, my life 5 years ago til now... It's fascinating, I think, the distances I've traveled emotionally and physically in that time. I verbally mapped out the journey with a friend today, I yapped out the journey you could say. From love and loss, fear and strength... and that was just 1/4 of the life I've lived, and an even smaller fraction of the life I'm chasing.
I guess my mind was blown at what little time it takes to grow, but also at how fleeting it all is... I'm too young to have a mid-life crisis, so I'll just call it a Tuesday crisis. Luckily, I'm female and I can have "whatever-whenever-get-out-of-my-way" crises. I should really abuse that privilege... but I don't. This wasn't even able to be classified a 'crisis' per se, not a melt-down, not anything...
Just a continuous chain of thoughts and fears of 'what ifs' and 'maybes' ... because what if maybe you never do what you thought you could? or should? or would?
Even the simplest of things that I long for could go unfulfilled... and then where will I be? but it's impossible to know now anyways. It's not a waste of time to ponder, though.
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